What Does Spooning Reveal About Your Relationship?

sleep and mental health

Ever wondered what the position you sleep in could reveal about the health of your relationship?

If you’re married or dating someone, it’s natural to wonder about sleeping positions and what they mean. A recent article stated that people who sleep on their back tend to be reliable and strong, while stomach sleepers are outgoing and fun.

So, what happens when you and your partner couple up? From spooning to top and tailing, experts say that our unconscious choices in the bedroom can indicate how we feel about our partners, our sexual desires, and what problems could be bubbling under the surface.

Consequently, what does your sleeping position say about you and your partner? Today we are going to look at spooning and see what it can tell you about the dynamics of your love life.

What Is Spooning: Mastering the spooning techniques

We all enjoy a good cuddle with our partner, whether it’s in your comfy couch or your luxury mattress.  Spooning refers to lying on your side with a partner lying on their side and curling up behind you, mimicking spoons that seamlessly fit together. People have been spooning for centuries, as evident from historic artwork depicting erotic embraces and positions between couples. While spooning can also be nonsexual, it is usually an intimate act reserved for couples. Of course, spooning can start as a simple comfortable position to lay or sleep in, but it can also bring the added benefits of intimacy.

When a partner takes a protective stance over the other, it leads to a feeling of safety, security and closeness and indicates a secure attachment to each other. If you enjoy spooning, then you are comfortable with the intimacy you and your partner share. You literally want to hold onto your partner throughout the night, feeling safe and secure by touching each other and staying connected.

Even body language expert and author of Success Signals: a Guide to Reading Body Language, Patti Wood, acknowledges that closeness, both physically and emotionally, gives side-spooning it’s real benefit: an increase in intimacy. It is a vulnerable position that’s sexual, but it also says, “I trust you”. Furthermore, couples who spoon are less likely to be harboring resentment or anger towards each other and therefore are more likely to feel up for a little moonlight mambo.

mental health cuddling

Establish the size of the spoon

First, you and your partner need to decide who is the big spoon and who is the small spoon.

  1.   The big spoon can be easily figured out by the action that whoever hugs the other partner while cuddling is the big spoon. Note that these roles are changeable.
  2.   The Big Spoon is the dominant partner. This is usually the taller or more masculine partner.
  3.   The little spoon refers to the smaller partner or the feminine partner.

Types of spoon cuddling positions to try

1. The Classic Spoon 

The classic romantic embrace, portrays a relationship dynamic in which one partner takes a protective stance over the other. It involves trust, experts say, and is often a sign that all is well in the bedroom. 

In this position, the big spoon lies on his or her side, and the little spoon puts his or her back to the stomach of the big spoon. The big spoon’s top arm should be wrapped around the waist of the little spoon but there can be variation. The position of your lower legs can vary depending on your preferences.

2. Ball and spoon 

Another position on how to spoon cuddle is the ball and spoon. It is where both of you lie side by side and feel your skin against a breathable, crisp, and light percale bed sheet with the smaller spoon in a fetal position. The bigger spoon’s chest or stomach should be nestled against the small spoon’s back with his lower legs stretched out to create more space.

3. Upside-Down Y 

A position where both the spoons press their backs against each other with each one facing the opposite direction. This placement is perfect for couples who want to enjoy physical contact with their partner while still having the freedom to move around, especially on Nectar’s split king adjustable bed with mattress. This allows more personal space and fresh air along with giving warmth to the partners and still creates intimacy and freedom to both.

Benefits of Spooning

Spooning gives a sense of security, feels good and intimate, but is also good for your health and personal well-being. Here are a few benefits:

  • It creates more sexual satisfaction and intimacy

We all know that cuddling often leads to physical intimacy, but cuddling after making love should not be taken for granted. Couples who cuddled after sex reported to have a higher relationship and sexual satisfaction according to a study in 2014.

  • It increases bonding among friends or pets 

What is the reason cuddling leaves you feeling loved and connected? Oxytocin isn’t called the “cuddle hormone” for no reason. There’s a social bonding aspect to it when it is released. Research suggests that oxytocin helps you bond with those in your inner circle. In other words, the more you cuddle with your partner and pets, the tighter your bond will be.

  • It boosts your immune system

Swedish massage is a massage technique that uses long, gliding strokes, firm kneading, and tapping. Touch is one of the most important aspects in cuddling, therefore if you make Swedish massage part of your cuddling routine, your immune system will seriously up its game. 

According to a 2010 study, people who received Swedish massage had:

  1.  Increased production of white blood cells that fight disease (lymphocytes)
  2. A reduction in hormones (arginine vasopressin) that increase the stress hormone cortisol
  3. A decrease in existing cortisol levels
  4. A decrease in cytokines that may cause inflammation
  • It helps you communicate emotions 

Clinical research shows that touch is a way to communicate emotions such as love, gratitude, and sympathy between loved ones. Happiness and sadness can be communicated through touch as well. A study in 2009, surprisingly found that touch also fosters emotional communication between strangers.

spooning mental health

  • It lowers blood pressure

Not only can touch communicate emotions, it also has a calming effect which may lower blood pressure. Research shows short periods of hand holding and hugging lowers both diastolic and systolic blood pressure. High blood pressure is linked to heart disease and stroke. In short, regular spooning should be part of any high blood pressure treatment plan with your intimate partner.

  • It relieves stress and anxiety

An analysis in 2004 suggests that massage in the form of stroking, squeezing, and stretching helps relieve stress and anxiety by boosting dopamine and serotonin in the body. These two neurotransmitters help regulate your mood. Dopamine also regulates the pleasure center in your brain.

  • It helps relieve pain 

Therapeutic touch is the method of placing your hands on or near the body to balance energy and promote natural healing. Cuddling in the form of therapeutic touch may even have the power to reduce pain.

As you can see, your sleeping position can say much about your relationship. But of course, not all issues are solved by spooning. Some intimate partners may need personalized relationship advice in order to address more serious relationship issues. In this case, we highly recommend seeing a licensed marriage and family therapist for professional guidance.

 

Images courtesy of Nectar Sleep

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