Many couples today are dissatisfied with their relationship. Some people may reflect on the long conversations, happy exchanges, and romantic feelings they once enjoyed with their intimate partner and wonder where things began to go wrong. The simple truth is all relationships will experience rough patches some time or another. However, these 3 signs may suggest that things are much worse that you think.
1. Lack of Emotional and Social Support
Many people enter into a relationship with the expectation of companionship and support. Given the many unexpected challenges and surprises life may hurl at us, we often find reassurance in the simple fact that we are not alone. A kind word, a hug, or an empathetic ear often go a long way towards strengthening tired limbs and healing emotional wounds. Whether it is a rough day at the office, personal challenges, issues with our friends or family, or even things beyond our control, there are times when we all need someone to lean on.
While emotional support is essential for your relationship, there may be other benefits as well. Research from Maija Reblin and Dr. Bert Uchino shows a strong support system may also contribute to better physical health.
If you recognize that your partner is no longer as supportive and he or she used to be, it is a clear warning sign that something is not right within the relationship. This may be a good time to discuss matters openly and determine if you have a future together.
If you want your relationship to be strong, fulfilling, and happy, good communication is an absolute necessity. Open and respectful communication allows us to express our thoughts, desires, needs, and concerns freely. It also gives us a clear idea of our partner’s view on matters, and helps us to make wise decisions and compromises where necessary.
There are many ways a couple may choose to communicate. They may speak with each other, have physical displays of affection, use body language, exchange gifts or tokens, or communicate via technology. Dr. Angela Wiley, a family life specialist from the University of Illinois describes effective communication as being critical to strong couple relationships.
If you find it difficult to express yourself freely and honestly with your partner, or if your partner is unable or unwilling to communicate openly with you, your relationship may not last much longer. It may be beneficial to try to address the reasons for any conflict, and to try to participate in activities that foster connection. For serious communication issues, it may be best to seek the help of a qualified couples counselor.
3. Lack of Trust
With the exception of love, trust is arguably the most important factor for a relationship to be successful. And let’s be honest, while happy partners love each other’s company, its impossible to be together all the time. Time apart is invaluable as it allows each partner to pursue his or her own interests and develop a personal sense of wellbeing. Trust is key during these moments of separation as it reduces the likelihood of negative feelings or suspicions developing between partners.
According to Dr. John Gottman–widely regarded as the top marriage expert in the United States–trust is essential to healthy relationships and healthy communities. Strong relationships find ways to build trust.
If your relationship is lacking support, communication, and trust, much work is needed if you want to stay with your intimate partner for the long haul. However, if it is not beneficial for you to continue your current relationship, you may decide to take your chances at meeting a few Russian singles online.
Gottman, J. (2011, October 29). John gottman on trust and betrayal. Retrieved from http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/john_gottman_on_trust_and_betrayal
Reblin, M. & Uchino, B. (2008). Social and emotional support and its implications for health. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2729718/
Wiley, A. R. (2007). Connecting as a couple: Communication skills for healthy relationships. The Forum for Family and Consumer Issues, 12 (1). Retrieved from https://ncsu.edu/ffci/publications/2007/v12-n1-2007-spring/wiley/fa-11-wiley.php